Pet Peeve #2 - Bad Drivers

It's not that I condone road rage. I don't. But I understand why it happens. Just this morning, my blood pressure rose twice before I was three kilometres from home.

Just so you know, they have these businesses that will actually teach you how to drive. They are called (believe it or not) DRIVING SCHOOLS. The teachers at these places will actually teach you how to do the following properly.

Signalling – Those arms attached to the steering column are not just for decoration. They are actually used to indicate your intentions. Ie. turning. Speaking of turning, when turning right at an intersection, is it really necessary to enter the lane to your left? Are you driving an 18 wheeler?

Proper Lane placement – Those lines painted on the road? Also not for decoration. If they were, I am sure the people responsible would use prettier colours, like red or green. I think the trick is actually staying within the lines, unless you’re changing lanes. If so, do it in a timely fashion. Driving down the middle of those painted lines isn’t the best way to endear yourself to your fellow drivers.

Driving the Posted Speed Limits – My advice would be that if you’re terrified to drive at least the speed limit on any given road, please avoid driving on said road. If you want to practise driving on a road that you’re not comfortable on, do it at times other than the morning or evening rush. Perhaps Sunday morning around 2 am would be a good time.

Not following other cars too closely - Nothing annoys me more than having another car riding within two inches of my bumper - Especially when there is a stream of traffic ahead of me. Just in case those bad drivers don’t realize, the car ahead of you can only go as fast as the car ahead of them and so on. No point in the driver ahead driving ten kilometres faster if the car ahead of them isn’t. Understand??

Backing up in parking lots - It’s customary (not to mention safer) to check behind and to the side prior to backing out of a parking spot. The things to look for would be people and other vehicles. It’s unfortunate, but you don’t have the right of way.

Maintaining speed - Sure, it’s not absolutely necessary to maintain a steady speed exactly. But it sure would be nice if you could stay within, oh lets say, five kilometres per hour. Following someone whose speed jumps from 60 to 80 km/h in a one kilometre stretch is at best, annoying. Especially when there’s nothing in front of them. Obviously, traffic ahead of you or an animal suddenly running into the road does not count.

Incessant passing in traffic – Picture this: you’re driving down a major roadway at seven in the morning on your way to work. There are cars as far as the eye can see. Traffic is moving slowly and it’s hard to even get up the posted speed limit. All of a sudden, a car goes screaming past you (on the wrong side of the road) and cuts in front. He can’t go any farther as there is a car coming the other way so he has to get back in the proper lane immediately. Once the way is clear, out he goes again. He may get two cars ahead this time, but maybe not. All the way to work, this clown passes. At the next intersection, you see the same car stopped at the lights. Gee, you may even be right behind him. What’s the point? And secondly, where do you have to be in such a hurry? I don't know about anyone else, but I would feel mighty stupid killing myself just so I could get to work faster....In this category, I can also list the the guy that passes you, gets in front, then slows down to a death march. Love those guys too.

Unnecessary Braking: How not to do it: 101: I also find extremely annoying following someone who brakes incessantly for no apparent reason. Picture this: You are driving and you come upon a car going just the speed limit. Fair enough. But you soon discover the reason they are driving just the speed limit is that they use their brake every 15 seconds. It's so regular, you could time chest compressions by their brake lights when giving CPR. Why are you braking? Do you see dead people? Are there ghosts standing in the middle of the lane that I can't see?? (Another reason to avoid unnecessary braking? Imagine paying for a brake job every 20,000 kilometres).

How to interpret those funny little advance green signals at traffic lights: When you are stopped at an intersection with traffic lights and the lights turn green, that means go. If you're turning left, obviously you must wait for the through traffic to go. Or pedestrians. When that green light flashes however, or the signal has a green arrow, that means you can go. It doesn't mean staying put and weighing the options. The options are go. If someone has run a red, well, then don't go. But if the way is clear and it's safe to do so, move your ass.


And finally, for the love of all that's holy, it's not called the FAST LANE. The FAST LANE is the cutesy name Ford dealerships have given to their quick lube drive throughs. The lane on the left is called the PASSING LANE. It is supposed to be used to PASS other vehicles. Perhaps the car in front of you is one of those incessant brakers? Or one of those people that are clutching their steering wheel as if the Devil himself is about to pluck them from the car? Whatever the reason you feel you need to pass, on roads equipped with such things, the PASSING LANE affords a safe (well, sometimes, depending on who's on the road) way to pass that slow moving vehicle. It's not used to practise F1 turning manoeuvers. Alternatively, it's also not used to pace snails or turtles. If you aren't going to pass, get out of the passing lane.

I am really starting to dread driving......

Pet Peeve #1 - Work 1.1 - Meetings

We all know how I feel about work. Perhaps if I had a fulfilling job, it would be different. But I don't. I view my job as a necessary inconvenience. Like going for a physical. Or having a root canal.

Due to a change in jobs and unreasonable morons that I have to deal with on a daily basis, I was put on a "special project" - a software implementation. In my opinion, I was only put on this project because I wasn't permitted to do my new job properly, therefore, I complained, mostly of boredom and dealing with the unreasonable's previously mentioned. This was an (unsuccessful) attempt to shut me up.

Being put on this project entailed the worst of all possible things: "attending meetings". I didn't have to attend meetings in my previous job. I liked it that way. I have no patience for meetings for a variety of reasons.

1. No one sticks to an agenda.
2. Waste of time rehashing the same old crap that could be solved with someone actually making a sound decision.
3. They say they want the employees input, but when it comes down to it, they don't give a flying fig what our opinions are, they'll do whatever they want anyway, no matter how stupid, how much money it wastes or how the end result will mean nothing was accomplished
4. People don't listen. They cover an item, but thirty minutes later, someone by God will feel compelled to go back to it and pipe "Is it just me, but I am lost. I didn't understand that last part".
5. Boring. By 2 pm on a work day (and sometimes on weekends too) I am struggling to keep my eyes open. Sit me in a crowded hot meeting room in an uncomfortable chair after feeding me pizza with four pounds of cheese on it (per slice) and I am ready for a coma.

So this morning, I awoke with a sense of dread. I had to "attend a meeting" today, an all day free for all with various people, most of whom I could do happily without on a daily basis.

As I am leaving, I say goodbye to my other half. He tells me to have a good day (to which my interior voice answered "Not bloody likely!") but I replied "I doubt it, I have a meeting". He looked sympathetic. I suggested to him then that the worst part of meetings was that there were other people there. I also told him that I would like to have a meeting with just me, but I wondered what we would discuss.

"Oh, that's easy", he replies. "Music, books...."

"Wine, beer!" I interrupt, almost giddy with the prospect of it.

So, we paused to imagine the scene - a meeting with Sue and NO ONE ELSE.

Me: I call this meeting to order. We have an agenda. We are going to discuss what to drink. Coors Light or Dos Equis.

Me: Well that would depend on whether there is lime available.....

Me: Let's recess this for a minute whilst I check the kitchen for lime.

Short recess.....

Me: Okay, there IS lime, so the question remains - Coors Light or Dos Equis.

Me: Well, personally, I don't mind starting off with a few Dos Equis then switching to Coors Light. Sometimes the lime starts to bother my mouth after a while.

Me: Very good, that's certainly an option.

Me: What shall we listen to while drinking the beer.

Me: Easy. Put the iPod on shuffle.

Me: Great. I think we're finished here. Good decision making, people. Meeting's adjourned.

And there you go. A meeting that takes less than four minutes, decisions were made, the agenda was followed and I am a happy camper.

Why can't all meetings be that easy??

Who is Justin Bieber (or enter other talentless hack here) and why should I care? Pet Peeve #3

It never fails to amaze me how many talentless (I don't want to call them performers because they're not, but then again, they must at the very least be actors to pretend they're good at what they do) people there are in the music world today. Half of them I have never heard of. But there's a few that I think the music industry could do without.....

1. I first heard about Justin Bieber on my favourite morning radio show. They were making fun of him. I figured that it was probably warranted. I asked my 21 year old son if he had ever heard about this kid and he told me about an interview he did on a recent tour in New Zealand when the word "German" confused the kid. Apparently, he didn't know what that word meant and quipped that "we don't use that word in America". What about Canada? Do we use that word here? I mean, there are German-Canadians, no? I remember learning about Hitler's Germany in school. Do they not cover World War II anymore? I mean, German? Perhaps Bieber is German for "bad haircut". On the Oprah show recently, he told her that he has "no clue" why girls scream when he's on stage. Me neither Justin. Me neither.


2. Lady Gaga? What the hell is a Lady Gaga? I am guessing she took her name from the Queen song "Radio Gaga" but I could be wrong. I don't know what to say. Really I don't. I read that she was a hermaphrodite. So does one deduce that she's more woman than man? I don’t know. She scares me. I mean, Marilyn Manson is a scary looking dude. But he doesn't sing songs like "Poker Face". To me, just one of thousands of manufactured pop drivel that anyone could sing with Auto Tune. Yuck. Also yuck is her clothes. My God…..


3. Speaking of Auto Tune - Miley Cyrus. Ok, there should be limits. The girl simply can not carry a tune. I don’t get it. My 26 year old son could make the Pope swear and cover his ears with his lack of singing talent. If someone had come to me when he was fifteen years old and said "We're going to make your son a star!", I would have asked "What exactly are you smoking and is it possible for me to get some". I mean, come on! Just because her daddy had one crappy hit 20 years ago? Give me a break!

4. Katy Perry…..she kissed a girl. So damn what? This makes her a star? Again, this is a case of OVER-manufactured crap that I am sure the youth of today could do without.

5. Lastly, although I was going to avoid it, I feel I must as a music fan, bring up the "Idol" series. I hate it. And talking about it gives me stomach pains. So I will make this quick. I think back to bands like Green Day. Struggling for years. Great musicians all of them. A talented song writer that can intelligently put a string of words together to make verses and choruses. Plays a Gibson like no one's business. Then I look at the contestants on the "Idols". Enough said.

**As an end to this entry I would like to bring up the iTunes top five downloads for this week for Canada. Ready?

1. California Gurls (Feat. Snoop Dogg) Kathy Perry
2. Jesse's Girl (Glee Cast version) Glee Cast
3. OMG (Feat. Will I Am) Usher
4. Break My Heart (Feat. Ludicris) Taio Cruz
5. Alejandro Lady Gaga

Is it just me or is there a lot of "featuring" going on. Does two talentless hacks in a song make the song better? I don't get it.
Maybe I am just getting old.......

Pussi-what?

Pussi what?

I often ponder the deterioration of society as a whole. This brings to mind one of my favourite emails that has been going around for a few years. It talks about the kids of the sixties and seventies. Remember when…..

You did something stupid as a kid and it was your fault?

One of my brothers, when he was about 9 or 10, liked to play with matches. One day he set fire to the shower curtain. My mother was home, thank God, and he promptly got a spanking. Not knowing what to do about this child pyromaniac, she did what any mother should do when unsure about how to handle something like this.

She called the fire station.

She spoke to one of the deputy chiefs there and explained her problem. His response? Bring him by. We can show him what happens to children when they play with fire. So she did. And he never played with matches again.

A few years later, that brothers twin, at the age of fifteen, stole my mothers car. Well, not really stole it, but took it without permission. My Dad was away in England at the time and this particular child was often a handful for my mother. He was taller than her by then so spanking him wasn’t going to work. So she called the police. They showed up at my mother’s door, she let them in and while they were speaking, in walked my brother. That put enough of a scare into him that he didn’t pull that stunt again.

The point of these heart warming little anecdotes is this: In those days, when you did something wrong, no one said “Ah, it’s okay little Johnny, you’re just a kid, you didn’t mean to set fire to the house and kill your sister”. Or “Well, he’s just a young ‘un. Yeah, he shouldn’t have taken the car, but he didn’t know what he was doing.” Huh? Most mothers I knew when I was a kid taught their children a few basic rules: It's wrong to steal, it's wrong to kill and be respectful of your elders.

When I was a kid, the blame for something I did didn’t get shifted to the music I listened to, the movies I watched, the books I had read. My parents didn’t blame the teacher if I got poor marks in school. They didn’t blame my friends when I got caught shoplifting a chocolate bar. Do you see where I am going with this?

We were taught to take RESPONSIBILITY for ourselves. When something went wrong (usually something stupid we had done) we had no one to blame but ourselves.

The tendency now a days, I feel, is to focus blame to someone other than our beloved children. When those kids shot up Columbine, the parents tried to blame Marilyn Manson. It’s this sort of blame shifting that does everyone in our society a huge disservice. It teaches our youth, the people that will one day be our workforce, our leaders, our teachers and bankers, truck drivers and politicians, that it’s okay to screw up, we can blame someone else for it.

Instead, we should be teaching our children that yes, it’s okay to make mistakes, we’re human, everyone screws up once in a while, but you have to accept responsibility for our actions. Our justice system makes us take responsibility for our actions, (not always fairly, but that’s a discussion for another day).

The morning show on the radio station I listen to put it best: it's the pussification of our society. They maintain that we're bringing up a bunch of wimpy adults that put the blame on everything or everyone else. I agree. I think it's time to teach our children that they are the architect of their own lives.

Pussi-fication is preventable. Only you have the power!!