The Wastebasket is a Writer's Best Friend

....Isaac Bashevis Singer said that. I tend to agree.


I am not an expert on writing. I love to read and thoroughly enjoy a well written and imaginative story. But there are some habits of writers that just drive me nuts and also, some current themes that I think should be left for dead on the side of the road. So, for another rant post on something I am opinionated about, here goes.

Nicholas Sparks - I must admit, when "Message in a Bottle" came out, I read it. Everyone was raving about this author and his book! Oh lord, it was the second coming of Charles Dickens! Ah, no. Now I see he pumps out a book about as often as I change my underwear (which is often twice a day). Not only that but read the synopsis of any of his books and you'll find they are all pretty much the same. A modern day Danielle Steele, our boy Nicholas. The movie adaptations are actually painful to watch. Please Nicholas please, go write for Harlequin Romance or some equally inane drivel publishing house.


Vampires, werewolves and fairies oh my - I think the world has had enough of "Twilight" and "True Blood". Every time I turn around, there's another series about some otherworldly creature. Enough already!! I have read the Sookie Stackhouse series. I admit, at first, it was entertaining, but after seven or eight books, I was thinking "Wow". Like Wow. Which for me is the word I use when I can not describe the surprise that someone could actually write eight books about essentially the same thing. Sookie has sex with a vampire. Something bad happens to Sookie. She has sex with another vampire. Something else happens to her. On and bloody on. Lordy. (I am eagerly awaiting the fifth "Fever" book though because I must find out what happened!)

The trend of ending the title of ones novel with "Novel". As in,

"The Story of Manchester and Oscar Churchill: A Fabricated Story of Their Life of Obedience: A Novel".

We know it's a novel. I am pretty convinced if you look at the spine or read the synopsis, it will say as much. The definition of a novel as per dictionary.com:
~a fictitious prose narrative of considerable length and complexity, portraying characters and usually presenting a sequential organization of action and scenes.

The word 'fictitious' gives away the fact that it's a novel. Sorry, I just don't get it….


And for the opposite of Nicholas Sparks, who can pump out a novel in thirty seconds flat, is my buddy Dean Koontz. Now, I like Dean. He's no William Shakespeare by any stretch of the imagination but I enjoy his books because:

1. they are unique stories that no one has done before,

2. I like his sense of humour and

3. they always address the conflict of good and evil in the world, always to a degree not usually encountered in real life, but being a person affronted by the injustice and cruelty in this universe, I find appealing that in Dean's book, unlike in real life, good guys usually finish first.

So I began reading Dean's Frankenstein trilogy. I read the first two and was quite looking forward to reading the third, but alas, it just didn't come out. I would keep looking on his website, check book sites for some word of when this book would be available. I think it was close to thirty months before it finally came out. By then, I had to re-read the first two books. Please be a bit quicker Dean. I know you guys plan the whole story way ahead of time. And while I am talking about Dean, a fourth book of his Frankenstein trilogy recently came out.

Trilogy: a series or group of three plays, novels, operas, etc., that, although individually complete, are closely related in theme, sequence, or the like. I read that one too, now I have to wait for the fifth book. Sigh

And finally, like rock stars, I think writers too should know when to call it quits. Two come to mind: Jeffrey Archer and Ken Follett, at one time, two favourites of mine. The last few books however, I question whether or not they were awake when they wrote them. Maybe it's because they were so popular at one time that their publishers don't care what they write, but their fans sure do. Follett wrote "Whiteout", one of the worst books I have ever read and really unworthy of the man that penned "The Eye of the Needle". Retire, my friends. Retire. You've done good, rest now, dear men.