It's been a few weeks of trying to get my house in order. While a daunting task, I am slowly succeeding. I have come up with a few things that help me. Maybe they'll help others too, faced with trying to organize a house with next to no motivation.
1. I downloaded a program called "iProcrastinate" from the Mac App store. You could use anything really. A date book would work or a spreadsheet but for me, this seems to be a good thing. I enter tasks under a subject called "House Cleanup" and then enter steps if there are any. You set a date for when you want this job completed and if you don't, you see "Task Overdue". That "Task Overdue"pisses me off so I make an effort to have the jobs completed in the time I have entered. One bad thing though is you can always change the date, giving yourself more time to procrastinate. I've done it, I admit it, but I seem to get more done than not. Which for me is success.
2. I approached this job incorrectly at first. I thought the only way to get this done was to concentrate on a room at a time. My plans to completely clean out one large room usually ended in frustration. It can be overwhelming to clean a whole room out that has accumulated years of junk, especially when there could be three peoples junk. Now, I plan an area. One day it was the desk in the living room. That same day, I cleaned out one kitchen cabinet. Later, the linen closet. Everything gets done, just not all at once. It took me three days to clean out the kitchen, but it got done and I didn't get bored or overwhelmed.
3. Lastly, I think it's helpful if you can get rid of the junk as soon as possible. For me, that will be hard as I can't lift anything overly heavy and will need to rely on someone to help me. But some things have been easy to get rid off. I had about seven items I had collected that were no good to me, but still in good shape. I posted it all on Freecycle and it was gone in a few days. I think this is important because junk collecting in one spot, for me anyway, is again, overwhelming. Garbage goes right in the garage. Freecycle items go in a huge Rubbermaid container that I leave in the hallway. As I find stuff, it goes in it's area. As soon as I have six items for Freecycle, I post it.
Well, back to it. I am off to clean out the laundry room cabinet. One thing at a time.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Wha' Happened?
I am currently suffering from something.... depression, anxiety, stress. To be honest, I am not quite sure myself. I have always thought of myself as a pretty strong person. Maybe I wasn't being honest with myself but I have been through some bad times in my life, starting as a child. Dealing with a bi-polar mother isn't easy when you're seven years old. But I've never used that as a crutch to excuse my bad behaviour. I am what I am. Or I was what I was.
What I was was this - At one time, I was a nice person. A REALLY nice person. Some said I was "sweet". I know that this is probably a shock to those who know me and I only can hope that they see some of that niceness that perhaps is fighting to come out again.
But somewhere along the line I changed. I changed from nice, sweet, patient, kind to cynical, negative, mouthy, rude, argumentative. Why, I wonder? These are things that keep crossing my mind lately. What happened to nice Sue? Where did she go? Why did she go away in the first place?
I am hesitant to blame the events in my life. That's what people do. It's never their fault. It's always someone else's. But somewhere I became a mistrustful bitch and I don't know why. Was it the stress? Was it just what happens when you turn forty?
The past five or so years have been stressful for me, but I was dealing with it. I thought. But we're all good at hiding, aren't we? We like to pretend we're all that, strong adults with purpose, we've got it all under control. But the sad reality is that you can pretend all you want. It doesn't change what's going on, what's really going on.
So while I have the time to clean my basement and organize my house, play a bit of guitar and read, I ponder where the nice girl went. And hope she comes back one day.
What I was was this - At one time, I was a nice person. A REALLY nice person. Some said I was "sweet". I know that this is probably a shock to those who know me and I only can hope that they see some of that niceness that perhaps is fighting to come out again.
But somewhere along the line I changed. I changed from nice, sweet, patient, kind to cynical, negative, mouthy, rude, argumentative. Why, I wonder? These are things that keep crossing my mind lately. What happened to nice Sue? Where did she go? Why did she go away in the first place?
I am hesitant to blame the events in my life. That's what people do. It's never their fault. It's always someone else's. But somewhere I became a mistrustful bitch and I don't know why. Was it the stress? Was it just what happens when you turn forty?
The past five or so years have been stressful for me, but I was dealing with it. I thought. But we're all good at hiding, aren't we? We like to pretend we're all that, strong adults with purpose, we've got it all under control. But the sad reality is that you can pretend all you want. It doesn't change what's going on, what's really going on.
So while I have the time to clean my basement and organize my house, play a bit of guitar and read, I ponder where the nice girl went. And hope she comes back one day.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
What Am I Doing Here?
It's the age old question - What is our purpose on earth? Do we all have a contribution to make? And really, what is the point of all this?
My question is not that deep. I ask "Why am I here?" as I sit, right now, at my desk at work. The question is more of a confused and sad "What the hell am I doing with my life?"
Soundtrack to this misery -
"We've got to get out of this place,
If it's the last thing we ever do".
~ We've Got To Get Out of This Place - The Animals
Anyway, back to this post:
I had high hopes as a young person. I was going to be a writer. I was going to travel. I was going to write about my travels. Instead, I write about my sad job life, sitting in a cubicle, hoping that someone allows me to do the job I was hired to do instead of the make-work projects they throw my way to shut me up.
It's sad. It really is. I've never had such a depressing job before. I don't need a glamour job. I just want something that keeps me busy, provides some challenge once in a while. I don't mind being busy, I LIKE being busy. The day goes by faster and it gives me a sense of accomplishment. I need that. Daily.
Instead, I listen to continuous bull crap from self-grandizing morons that don't know which way is up. They say what they need to say to keep me quiet and complacent. They give me work that isn't mine and say things like "I hope you realize there is a deadline!" Whatever. Deadline this!
So what am I doing here? Paying my bills. Buying food. Making my car loan payment on time. Supporting some annoying addictions like Teaopia and Pandora charms.
Sadly, it's the only reason I am here. There was once a time when I loved going to work., I loved being part of an organization that had purpose and vision. It was never about the pay. It was about the way it made me feel to know I was a part of a job well done.
I want that again. Given the current economic climate, however, I think I am stuck here.
Shit.
My question is not that deep. I ask "Why am I here?" as I sit, right now, at my desk at work. The question is more of a confused and sad "What the hell am I doing with my life?"
Soundtrack to this misery -
"We've got to get out of this place,
If it's the last thing we ever do".
~ We've Got To Get Out of This Place - The Animals
Anyway, back to this post:
I had high hopes as a young person. I was going to be a writer. I was going to travel. I was going to write about my travels. Instead, I write about my sad job life, sitting in a cubicle, hoping that someone allows me to do the job I was hired to do instead of the make-work projects they throw my way to shut me up.
It's sad. It really is. I've never had such a depressing job before. I don't need a glamour job. I just want something that keeps me busy, provides some challenge once in a while. I don't mind being busy, I LIKE being busy. The day goes by faster and it gives me a sense of accomplishment. I need that. Daily.
Instead, I listen to continuous bull crap from self-grandizing morons that don't know which way is up. They say what they need to say to keep me quiet and complacent. They give me work that isn't mine and say things like "I hope you realize there is a deadline!" Whatever. Deadline this!
So what am I doing here? Paying my bills. Buying food. Making my car loan payment on time. Supporting some annoying addictions like Teaopia and Pandora charms.
Sadly, it's the only reason I am here. There was once a time when I loved going to work., I loved being part of an organization that had purpose and vision. It was never about the pay. It was about the way it made me feel to know I was a part of a job well done.
I want that again. Given the current economic climate, however, I think I am stuck here.
Shit.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Tired and Pissed Off
Today was my regular cleaning day - that is, the day that I clean the whole house from top to bottom. I don't clean Ryan's room unless there's payment involved but it is still a big house and takes me most of the day. I resent it, to say the least. I don't want to live in this house so having to clean it regularly just pisses me off. Sadly, I can't stand mess and the thought that something is dirty compels me to keep on top of it.
Knowing (as I do) the state of Ryan's room is nearly enough to cause a nervous breakdown and I hardly enter that room unless I need change for coffee or when I am missing too many of my drinking glasses.
A few weeks ago, while engaging in my regular cleaning, I decided to pass by Ryan's bathroom. I don't use it, why should I clean it, I thought. And it was really a test to see how disgusting that room would get before Ryan himself picked up some bleach cleanser and joined the ranks of responsible house cleaning adults.
So today, after a month of not being cleaned, I decided to check it out.
I could not be prepared for the disaster that awaited me. I will spare you the worst of it, but suffice it to say that I've seen tidier bathrooms at truck stops.
It really is the laziness and lack of effort that pisses me off.
1. Empty toilet paper rolls on the floor. There is a receptacle in there, for garbage. Full.
2. No caps on: toothpaste, contact lens solution, shaving cream.
3. Whiskers everywhere - the vanity, the sink, the TOILET? Does he shave while using the toilet??
4. Used dental floss on the counter.
5. Clothes on the floor.
6. Empty contact lens boxes and the little plastic containers the lenses are stored in. Garbage right there, easy access, just toss it all in.
So I cleaned it before I was host to new strains of bacteria. It just disgusts me. I don't know why he's like that. I think that's perhaps what bothers me the most. Is he my kid? Did they give me the wrong child at the hospital? He looks like me but so what? I am sure there are tons of kids with the shape of my eyes and my nose. Doesn't mean they're all mine.
I don't want him to be OCD, constantly washing his hands (like I do) or freaking out when someone leaves a piece of paper on the table. I don't want that. But some semblance of normal house hygiene, is that too much to ask?
And why, for the love of God, does he get so pissy when I tell him to clean his bloody room? It's my damn house for God sakes!!!
I do know this: I've had it. His room needs to be cleaned by 4pm tomorrow or there will be a battle at this house. One of us won't survive it. And although I am tired and pissed off, I can guarantee it won't be me who sulks off, trying to ignore the other. I am a stubborn bitch and that damn room will be cleaned.
Sorry, had to vent.....
Knowing (as I do) the state of Ryan's room is nearly enough to cause a nervous breakdown and I hardly enter that room unless I need change for coffee or when I am missing too many of my drinking glasses.
A few weeks ago, while engaging in my regular cleaning, I decided to pass by Ryan's bathroom. I don't use it, why should I clean it, I thought. And it was really a test to see how disgusting that room would get before Ryan himself picked up some bleach cleanser and joined the ranks of responsible house cleaning adults.
So today, after a month of not being cleaned, I decided to check it out.
I could not be prepared for the disaster that awaited me. I will spare you the worst of it, but suffice it to say that I've seen tidier bathrooms at truck stops.
It really is the laziness and lack of effort that pisses me off.
1. Empty toilet paper rolls on the floor. There is a receptacle in there, for garbage. Full.
2. No caps on: toothpaste, contact lens solution, shaving cream.
3. Whiskers everywhere - the vanity, the sink, the TOILET? Does he shave while using the toilet??
4. Used dental floss on the counter.
5. Clothes on the floor.
6. Empty contact lens boxes and the little plastic containers the lenses are stored in. Garbage right there, easy access, just toss it all in.
So I cleaned it before I was host to new strains of bacteria. It just disgusts me. I don't know why he's like that. I think that's perhaps what bothers me the most. Is he my kid? Did they give me the wrong child at the hospital? He looks like me but so what? I am sure there are tons of kids with the shape of my eyes and my nose. Doesn't mean they're all mine.
I don't want him to be OCD, constantly washing his hands (like I do) or freaking out when someone leaves a piece of paper on the table. I don't want that. But some semblance of normal house hygiene, is that too much to ask?
And why, for the love of God, does he get so pissy when I tell him to clean his bloody room? It's my damn house for God sakes!!!
I do know this: I've had it. His room needs to be cleaned by 4pm tomorrow or there will be a battle at this house. One of us won't survive it. And although I am tired and pissed off, I can guarantee it won't be me who sulks off, trying to ignore the other. I am a stubborn bitch and that damn room will be cleaned.
Sorry, had to vent.....
De-junk Update #3
By some miracle, I was able to clean out the garage yesterday. Nearly froze to death (nothing more fun that standing on freezing cold cement for an extended period of time) and my back is not happy this morning.
I also managed to clean out my pantry, fridge and freezer and some of the garage fridge as well. I'll do the rest of that on a day that is warmer than minus 3.
So there are two jobs done. Now I get to fill the garage up with junk from the rest of the house. I can't believe how much fun this will be.
At least I got to cross two jobs off my iProcrastinate list. Excited isn't quite a strong enough word for what I am feeling right now.
I need a nap. It's only nine in the morning.
I also managed to clean out my pantry, fridge and freezer and some of the garage fridge as well. I'll do the rest of that on a day that is warmer than minus 3.
So there are two jobs done. Now I get to fill the garage up with junk from the rest of the house. I can't believe how much fun this will be.
At least I got to cross two jobs off my iProcrastinate list. Excited isn't quite a strong enough word for what I am feeling right now.
I need a nap. It's only nine in the morning.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
De-junk Update #2
It's been over four weeks and still, I haven't made an attempt at de-cluttering. I would like to say I have had such a busy social life, I haven't had time. That would be a lie. I could also say that really, I WANT everything so there is nothing to get rid off. That would be lie number two. The sad truth is - I just don't want to do it. Its a huge job, it's daunting, it's not fun, I am going to get dirty doing this and really, there are more fun things I would rather be doing - like crawling onto the sofa, fireplace spewing warm air with my favourite tea and my book. Who wouldn't?
But time is wasting. It has to be done. I can't rely on my son to do it. He can't keep ONE room clean so it's me or nothing.
Speaking of my son, I told him that I have a real estate agent coming on Monday and his room needs to be clean before then. I want to see how seriously he takes this.
Probably as seriously as I have taken my de-cluttering job thus far.
I think I'm in trouble.
My plan for this weekend is: Saturday, clean out the garage. I need someplace to put all the stuff I am getting rid of so the garage is the best place to store it. This of course depends on a few factors.
1. If the planets are aligned correctly, it's a go.
2. If the Leafs win tonight, it's a go.
3. If it's not fifteen below, it's a go.
To be honest, if I am too tired, it's not a go.
Really need some motivation. Can you buy that somewhere?
I'll post how that goes on Monday.
But time is wasting. It has to be done. I can't rely on my son to do it. He can't keep ONE room clean so it's me or nothing.
Speaking of my son, I told him that I have a real estate agent coming on Monday and his room needs to be clean before then. I want to see how seriously he takes this.
Probably as seriously as I have taken my de-cluttering job thus far.
I think I'm in trouble.
My plan for this weekend is: Saturday, clean out the garage. I need someplace to put all the stuff I am getting rid of so the garage is the best place to store it. This of course depends on a few factors.
1. If the planets are aligned correctly, it's a go.
2. If the Leafs win tonight, it's a go.
3. If it's not fifteen below, it's a go.
To be honest, if I am too tired, it's not a go.
Really need some motivation. Can you buy that somewhere?
I'll post how that goes on Monday.
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