What Am I Doing Here?

It's the age old question - What is our purpose on earth?  Do we all have a contribution to make?  And really, what is the point of all this?

My question is not that deep.  I ask "Why am I here?" as I sit, right now, at my desk at work.  The question is more of a confused and sad "What the hell am I doing with my life?"

Soundtrack to this misery -

     "We've got to get out of this place,
       If it's the last thing we ever do".  

~ We've Got To Get Out of This Place - The Animals

Anyway, back to this post:

I had high hopes as a young person.  I was going to be a writer.  I was going to travel.  I was going to write about my travels.  Instead, I write about my sad job life, sitting in a cubicle, hoping that someone allows me to do the job I was hired to do instead of the make-work projects they throw my way to shut me up.

It's sad.  It really is.  I've never had such a depressing job before.  I don't need a glamour job.  I just want something that keeps me busy, provides some challenge once in a while.  I don't mind being busy, I LIKE being busy.  The day goes by faster and it gives me a sense of accomplishment.  I need that.  Daily.

Instead, I listen to continuous bull crap from self-grandizing morons that don't know which way is up.  They say what they need to say to keep me quiet and complacent.  They give me work that isn't mine and say things like "I hope you realize there is a deadline!"  Whatever.  Deadline this!

So what am I doing here?  Paying my bills.  Buying food.  Making my car loan payment on time.  Supporting some annoying addictions like Teaopia and Pandora charms.

Sadly, it's the only reason I am here.  There was once a time when I loved going to work., I loved being part of an organization that had purpose and vision.  It was never about the pay.  It was about the way it made me feel to know I was a part of a job well done.

I want that again.  Given the current economic climate, however, I think I am stuck here.

Shit.