New Year's Resolution?

I found a quote the other day that I really liked:

How few there are who have courage enough to own their faults, or resolution enough to mend them ~ Benjamin Franklin

Of course, the beauty of this quote to me is that it brings to mind my own faults, which are numerous.  (Yes, I too question what is beautiful about one's own faults, but there it is).  Some of them, I actively work on fixing.  Others, I admit, I can't get rid of.

About five years ago, my New Years resolution was to be a kinder, gentler Sue.  I was going to be more tolerant of stupid people, more patient and a variety of other things that happily, I have forgotten about at this point.  I think one was not having road rage five times on my way to work every morning.   The other was not jumping to conclusions.

This resolution didn't work.  I think I lasted three days.  I have no patience for much.  This much is obvious.  Easier for me would have been to not eat for a month than to change what is essentially my emotionally screwed personality.

I think I am a good person.  Overly sensitive sometimes.  Quick to anger.  Materialistic and somewhat opinionated.  But generally, a good person who cares about the people in her life.

But as a friend of mine likes to point out on a regular basis:  everyone is screwed up and most people are generally shit.  

So am I that bad?  Really?  At least I know my faults.  At least I accept them as being mine and realize that often, I am unreasonable and ridiculous.  Which is more than I can say for a lot of people.

So, no New Year's Resolution for me this year.  I accept myself in all my imperfection.  And if people don't like it, well, they can go to you know where.

Best wishes for a Happy New Year, perfect or not.

To Be (a Winter Driver) or Not to Be

We live in Canada.  More specifically, we live in an area of the country that has snow.  With this fluffy white stuff brings out even more idiot drivers than normal. (See post Pet Peeve #2 in May of this year).  

I for one, am tired of dealing with those drivers that for whatever reason, can't get their cars to go faster than forty kilometres an hour when a bit of snow falls.  It's not C4.  It's snow.

I am not saying that when there is a raging snow storm that one should drive 120 down side streets, passing all that dare get in their way.  I am suggesting however, that if you must live in this part of the country, you learn to drive in winter weather.  If you can't, if it's just too much for you, I suggest you move to the tropics or at the very least, Vancouver Island.

I understand that if you have just moved here from southern climes, driving in the snow may be a daunting task.  I get it. I for one wouldn’t want to drive through a typhoon, lava, minefield or roads that have heaved up due to earthquakes.  Lucky for me, I don't have to deal with that.

But (a big BUT here) if you have lived here all your life, you know that it snows from December to March, sometimes earlier, sometimes later.  There is absolutely no reason on God's green or white earth why a native born Canadian can't manoeuvre safely in some snow.

1.  The Steering Wheel Clutchers - these gems were mentioned in the previous bad driver post.  They scare me for the simple fact that they are so intent on holding on to the wheel, are they really aware of what's going on around them?  Most clutchers drive way below the posted speed limit and sport a look that says 'The devil is going to catch me any minute!"  Just drive.  At a normal speed, for God sakes.

2.  "Can't decide where the lane is" drivers are another treat.  On a two lane roadway, they drive over the centre line.  On a four lane roadway, they just drive up the middle of the right lane.  At least these ones are on the right side of the road.  I know the lines are covered in snow, but really?!  Can't you judge from the curb? 

3.  The Gunners -  The road is slippery because there is snow on it.  When stopped at a stop light or stop sign, hitting the accelerator like you've just took at break at a pit stop at a Nascar race isn't going to get your anywhere.  Scarier still are the ones that do this in those honking huge pickup trucks designed to tow Canadian Forces tanks.  They start fishtailing wildly and if you are unlucky enough to be stopped beside them, you see your life flash before your eyes.

4.  My personal favourite - the Snails.  Driving 20 kilometres an hour no matter what the posted limit (as far as I am aware, there isn't a paved road in Canada with a posted limit less than forty kilometres an hour) is just an accident waiting to happen.  People get angry and try to pass, often when it's not safe to do so.  You can get a ticket.  For impeding traffic.


5.  I also love the drivers that are lucky enough to own a vehicle with four-wheel drive or all wheel drive.  Throw some snow tires on there and you have one invincible human being!!  Hello?  Just because you have snow tires, doesn't mean you won't kill yourself driving like a knob.

Nervous?  Don't LIKE driving in snow?  Not USED to driving in snow?  Don't do it.  Save everyone else some time and some blood pressure points.  There is NO excuse to drive like a moron in the snow.  It's Canada.  If you're not used to it by now, you never will be.  Store your car in the winter and take public transit, for the love of all that's holy.

Merry Christmas.

Super Heroes Buttboy and J Lo Ass Blond Skinny Chick

Only in Toronto?  I sure hope so.....

Saturday night, my boyfriend was given two tickets to a Leaf game and he asked me if I'd like to go. I said yes.  

My only issue with going to things like this is the crowds.  I dislike crowds.  I hate traffic, especially stop and go, the honking, the idiots that are changing lanes for no reason.  I hate feeling trapped in a place, shoulder to shoulder with people.  And I hate seeing things that disturb me.  And the law of averages says, go to a place with 20,000 people and your chances of seeing something that you don't want to see increases.....well, I guess 20,000 fold.      

I was not to be disappointed (I guess that depends on how you look at it).  Please meet: 

Buttboy and his sidekick, J. Lo Ass Blond Skinny Chick

We left our seats at the first intermission.  The hallways are packed with people.  There are people at lines trying to get food and beer, those lines are blocking the way of people trying to walk to restrooms and other people trying to walk back to their seats, it's basically chaos.  We are forced to stop because people can't get out of the way, so I am behind Kevin and I just happen to glance to my right and there in front of me is a guy and a girl.  The girl is wearing black leggings and a tight nylon type t-shirt that doesn't cover her bum.  Are you getting the picture?  I think the leggings were meant to be worn with those long tunic sweaters, but I am no fashion expert.

The girl is to the right of him and he has his finger, oh, how do I say, um, in an inappropriate place, on her, um, I will say that his finger is completely hidden, and he keeps moving his finger, and he's a tall guy and she's perhaps my height, so he's making an effort to reach and really, my good God!!!

Anyway, their backs are to me, they are looking up at a menu.  They are about two feet from me, so pretty close.   I am no prude.  Really, I am not.  I have no problem with public displays of affection - to a point.  But that was too much.  Way too much.

I am disgusted and regret looking over in that general direction because now that vision is seared onto my brain and I fear it will never go away.  But I start laughing like I have just seen the funniest thing in the world and I yell to Kevin because it's so loud in there "Hey hon, did you see that?" and he turns toward me and says "Oh yeah!"  so not being able to leave it alone, because I just can't, I say "It looks like his finger was up her ass!"  

Just as I say that, two men walk by, stop and look at me and say "Really?" I confirm, they start laughing, yell "Get a room!" and as they walk away, I notice Buttboy and J. Lo Ass Blond Skinny Chick giving me the evil eye.  They've both turned 180 degrees and are facing me like we're going to have a showdown.  They're both bigger than me.  They could both beat me up. But all I am thinking is "I hope Buttboy doesn't touch Kevin or I with that finger!"

It's unfortunate, but I haven't been able to get the vision out of my mind and I hope that something good comes of this.  Perhaps Buttboy and his little chickie went home and reflected on their behaviour and maybe talked about it.  Perhaps they came to the conclusion that that sort of behaviour in public is inappropriate and they will make an effort to keep Buttboy's fingers out of J. Lo Ass's orifices whilst they're in public from now on.

Or, the more likely scenario, they called me a number of unfavourable names half the night and got drunk on cheap Tequila.   

I bet the latter.

And the Leafs lost...

What's $200 Worth To You Anyway?

I have two children, Alex, the eldest and Ryan.   Ryan lives with me in a large, unnecessary house.  Ryan generally uses three rooms regularly.  His bedroom, bathroom and the kitchen.  


You can track Ryan's movements within the house at any given time.  If I were to clean the house from top to bottom and Ryan were on vacation, the house would remain completely spotless (except for dog hair on the floor and nose prints on windows).  


Ryan, in a word, is a slob.  I would like to shake my head in wonder and say "I don't know where he developed this trait from" but I would be lying.  I will say that he didn't get it from me.  Sure, I sometimes laze out upon arriving home from work and leave my shoes at the front door, side by side, in a neat row.  Or, I place a reusable bag on the kitchen chair once I've emptied it.  I admit that.  I will also admit that in the mornings, after rushing in a confused daze, corralling fighting Goldens, breaking up fights and pulling gobs of grass from drooling mouths, I often don't have time to place my hairspray in it's correct spot in the vanity cabinet.  Or properly place all my hair styling products nicely in the basket on the counter.  But Ryan.....he brings slobbishness into a whole new level.


There was a time that I would clean his room for him because I just couldn't stand it anymore.  The deal was that any money I found would be mine.   He is lazy with his money too.  He would come home and drop all his change....where ever.  There would be a carpet of loonies and twoonies all over the floor.


This was a sweet deal.  I could make $75 for a two hour job.   I don't make that at my REAL job.  Taking taxes into account, I am lucky if I take home $18 an hour!  


But the child got wise to this and decided he was better off cleaning his room himself.  He realized it was akin to remembering he had a savings account somewhere.  I informed him what would be even better was not letting his room get to that disgusting state in the first place.  Oddly, he disagreed.


So last week, I am about to go out for the evening and he tells me he's misplaced $200 American....in his room.  


"If you'd cleaned it a month ago, like I'd asked, you probably would have found it.  When did you have $200 American in your room?"  


"I brought it back from my New York City trip," he answers.  That was in May.  I don't know too many people that would "forget" about $200 for five months but that's just me.


So I suggested he get his lazy ass up there and start cleaning.  But I would be happy to clean it for him the next day given the re-instatement of our previous deal.  


He didn't bite.   He suggested a nice Mum would clean it for nothing.  I informed him that if I was going to take five years off my life by breathing in unknown toxic substances, it had to be worth some cash.  About $200, I am guessing....


His room still hasn't been cleaned by the way.....that money is still up there.....

The Things I Wish I Had Known

I am like one of those male drivers..... not in my car, but in my life, going around aimlessly, often lost (99% of the time), not sure where to go, what to do.....I know I should stop and ask for help but it feels like I am in a big desert and there's no gas station around. This attitude is probably what's got me to this point in my life....aimless, always confused, not sure what to do, where to go. It's sad really. How can a forty-five year old woman who raised children that stayed out of jail, finished school and who have jobs be this way? I am not sure. I search for answers but again, I am probably not looking in the right place.

I blame myself. Despite having a mother that taught her daughters to not be reliant on other people for anything, to take care of themselves, somehow, I missed all those talks. Or maybe I just didn't listen to her. Probably the latter.

The things I wish I had learned in kindergarten (or even by the time I was seventeen) would have helped me on my journey to this point in my life.

1. You can only SAVE yourself. I didn't go to college or university. I had planned to but I had a baby at 18 and there was always other things I needed to be doing. My second husband made good money so I basically worked to buy clothes and CD's and to pay for the extras like my motorbike and nice things for the kids. Then we split up. The job I didn't really need before became a necessity and it isn't enough for me to survive on. I wish I had taken the time to get to school. I could have afforded it then. But now I am stuck. I have no marketable skills. I am not stupid, but I can't put that on a resume in the hopes of getting a better job. So now I struggle....every day. The husband that makes good money doesn't want to settle and God help me, I don't know what to sell to pay the hydro bill.

2. Take care of number one. I remember going to a seminar for work years ago when the speaker asked the group "Who is the most important person in your life?" Everyone said different people. Some said their spouses. Some said their children. I said my family. He said we were all wrong. He said that the most important person in each of our lives should be ourselves. I get that now. After years of following around a man that was more interested in his work and pleasing his mother, I totally understand that. I didn't then. It took me getting down to 114 pounds and not sleeping for nine months to understand how important it is to take care of yourself first.

3. In the words of Jack Johnson, "Loving someone doesn't make them love you". Very important.

4. Don't allow people to make you feel guilty for being the way you are. My mother has a problem with me. She thinks I am immature and difficult. I can only surmise that she feels this way because I like tattoos, motorbikes, playing music and drinking to excess. She asked me once when I was going to grow up. I was 38 at the time. I told her I grew up when I was 18 but once my youngest turned 18, I didn't have to be grown up anymore. I think because she's been an old soul since she was a teenager, she thinks I should be that way too. I am the way I am. I think the way I do and want the things I want. And if the people in my life don't like it or can't accept it, they can go. I can deal with that. So maybe they should too.

5. There are often people in our lives that shouldn't be there. My brother calls them 'toxic'. It's important to rid your life of these people. Sometimes that is hard. People get comfortable and they can't let go. Sometimes, you just can't. In-laws come to mind. Or family members. But life is too short to put up with crap. If someone doesn't need to be a part of your life and their very existence in it makes you absolutely and utterly miserable, it's time to let go.

6. Be happy. I know, sometimes it's hard, actually downright impossible! I try. I have my bad times. Sometimes, it seems a month will go by and it's one thing after another. I think I tend to let things pile up. One little thing goes wrong, then another little thing but those two little things seem monstrous and I lose it. Add another and I am downright bereft as to why my life just can't get better, why nothing can go my way. But I try to keep smiling....it helps me to remember that in the big scheme of things, I don't have it that bad. Even if they cut off my hydro....well, that's just going to piss me off......

7.  Finally, be honest with yourself.  For years, I pretended to be happy in a marriage that made me miserable.  I wasn't fooling myself.  You can lie to your family and your friends, but deep down, when you try to lie to yourself, usually to make yourself feel better for the misery-prison you have buried yourself in, it's only yourself you're hurting.

The Wastebasket is a Writer's Best Friend

....Isaac Bashevis Singer said that. I tend to agree.


I am not an expert on writing. I love to read and thoroughly enjoy a well written and imaginative story. But there are some habits of writers that just drive me nuts and also, some current themes that I think should be left for dead on the side of the road. So, for another rant post on something I am opinionated about, here goes.

Nicholas Sparks - I must admit, when "Message in a Bottle" came out, I read it. Everyone was raving about this author and his book! Oh lord, it was the second coming of Charles Dickens! Ah, no. Now I see he pumps out a book about as often as I change my underwear (which is often twice a day). Not only that but read the synopsis of any of his books and you'll find they are all pretty much the same. A modern day Danielle Steele, our boy Nicholas. The movie adaptations are actually painful to watch. Please Nicholas please, go write for Harlequin Romance or some equally inane drivel publishing house.


Vampires, werewolves and fairies oh my - I think the world has had enough of "Twilight" and "True Blood". Every time I turn around, there's another series about some otherworldly creature. Enough already!! I have read the Sookie Stackhouse series. I admit, at first, it was entertaining, but after seven or eight books, I was thinking "Wow". Like Wow. Which for me is the word I use when I can not describe the surprise that someone could actually write eight books about essentially the same thing. Sookie has sex with a vampire. Something bad happens to Sookie. She has sex with another vampire. Something else happens to her. On and bloody on. Lordy. (I am eagerly awaiting the fifth "Fever" book though because I must find out what happened!)

The trend of ending the title of ones novel with "Novel". As in,

"The Story of Manchester and Oscar Churchill: A Fabricated Story of Their Life of Obedience: A Novel".

We know it's a novel. I am pretty convinced if you look at the spine or read the synopsis, it will say as much. The definition of a novel as per dictionary.com:
~a fictitious prose narrative of considerable length and complexity, portraying characters and usually presenting a sequential organization of action and scenes.

The word 'fictitious' gives away the fact that it's a novel. Sorry, I just don't get it….


And for the opposite of Nicholas Sparks, who can pump out a novel in thirty seconds flat, is my buddy Dean Koontz. Now, I like Dean. He's no William Shakespeare by any stretch of the imagination but I enjoy his books because:

1. they are unique stories that no one has done before,

2. I like his sense of humour and

3. they always address the conflict of good and evil in the world, always to a degree not usually encountered in real life, but being a person affronted by the injustice and cruelty in this universe, I find appealing that in Dean's book, unlike in real life, good guys usually finish first.

So I began reading Dean's Frankenstein trilogy. I read the first two and was quite looking forward to reading the third, but alas, it just didn't come out. I would keep looking on his website, check book sites for some word of when this book would be available. I think it was close to thirty months before it finally came out. By then, I had to re-read the first two books. Please be a bit quicker Dean. I know you guys plan the whole story way ahead of time. And while I am talking about Dean, a fourth book of his Frankenstein trilogy recently came out.

Trilogy: a series or group of three plays, novels, operas, etc., that, although individually complete, are closely related in theme, sequence, or the like. I read that one too, now I have to wait for the fifth book. Sigh

And finally, like rock stars, I think writers too should know when to call it quits. Two come to mind: Jeffrey Archer and Ken Follett, at one time, two favourites of mine. The last few books however, I question whether or not they were awake when they wrote them. Maybe it's because they were so popular at one time that their publishers don't care what they write, but their fans sure do. Follett wrote "Whiteout", one of the worst books I have ever read and really unworthy of the man that penned "The Eye of the Needle". Retire, my friends. Retire. You've done good, rest now, dear men.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Have you ever seen this movie? The concept is novel, yet simple and appealing all at the same time.

Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet are a couple in a relationship. They love each other, however, they can not make it work. They break up. They are so saddened and confused by it, they have a hard time functioning. They go to a guy that is able to wipe the mind of all the memories associated with the relationship. In essence, wiping the person from the others memory. They are happy about this. And of course, neither of them know the other one has done it. Sadly, a short time after spending the money to have their memory wiped, they meet on the street and fall in love all over again.

There are times in my life I would have liked to have memories wiped from my mind. Now is one. I am a dweller. I stew in my pain. It eats at me and prevents me from sleeping and eating. There are times in my past where I have lost so much weight and slept so little, my family thought I was ill. So, now would be a good time for some eternal sunshine. For once, I would love a spotless mind.

If anyone ever comes across anything like this, please leave me a message.

Being a mother is so very very hard....No matter how right you think you are, it eventually comes back and bites you in the ass.

Let Them Eat Cake (But I'd Tax The Hell Out of It First)

Anyone that smokes cigarettes or cigars or drinks alcohol in any form knows that there are exorbitant taxes placed on these items. And being a user of both cigarettes and alcohol, I can understand why.

Firstly, they are a luxury. You don't NEED either one. Sure, they're nice to have and if you want to partake in those items, then the government is going to make you pay for the privilege. Then there are the health risks involved in using both tobacco and alcohol. Tobacco is highly addictive and everyone knows that it's one of the hardest addictions to beat. Some compare it to quitting heroin. It can cause lung cancer. Second hand smoke was an issue but not so much anymore as it's illegal to smoke anywhere but outside now a days, other than your own home. I could probably count on one hand the number of homes that I go to that allow smoking inside.

Alcohol causes all sorts of social issues like drunk driving and broken homes. Then there are the health risks involved. Anyone kill a few brain cells recently? How's your liver doing? Ever missed work due to a horrible hangover?

But what no one seems to find odd in this country is why certain foods aren't taxed. I find it strange that fast foods or snacks like potato chips, doughnuts, cookies, chip dip, chocolate bars, even pop, don't also have a special, exorbitant tax.

While everyone sits there and stares down there nose at the smokers (I know they do because I am a smoker), no one thinks it's strange that you can go to Metro or The Superstore and buy a huge box of chocolate chip cookies and not pay tax on it. Or go to Tim Hortons and because you buy more than three doughnuts, you get away without paying tax.

A few years ago, while waiting at the doctors for an appointment, I read an article about the largest drain on the Canadian health care system. Any guess what health problem was the culprit? Drug addiction? Alcoholism? Nope. Must be smoking, you're probably thinking? I thought for sure, that would be it. I remember a friend of mine once commenting that if smokers wound up with lung cancer, they should be forced to pay for their treatment out of their own pockets. After all, whose fault was it they got lung cancer? But no, it wasn't smoking either. In this article, they had interviewed Canadian doctors across the country. And they all agreed that obesity was the largest drain on our health care system. They cited case after case of why obesity cost so much. It caused so many health issues, from joint problems, circulatory issues, heart issues, lung issues, the list goes on.

So I suggest to loser McGuinty, start taxing the hell out of the McDonalds, the Harveys, the KFC. That's not a necessity. Use that tax to help cover the cost of fixing the people that need heart by-pass surgery, new hips and knees, need special care after heart attacks.....I know, it's not OUR fault but still....if we have to pay to smoke and drink.....lets be fair.

Imponderable From (gasp!) Me

I was at a concert last night. It wasn't someone I wanted to see. My boyfriend was doing a favour for a friend, long story, but he got free tickets, backstage passes, blah blah blah.....

The crux of this story was one of the guitarists for the warm up band. He was at the other side of the stage from me and my eyes aren't the best, but he looked very familiar to me. It struck me a few minutes after he began playing and I said something that I promised myself I would never ever say, in my head or out loud:

He looks just like one of my ex-husbands.

Now I must go stick my head in the toilet and flush numerous times to try to remove it from my memory, however, I said it so removing it will be very, very hard.

Easier will be removing D's comment the other day about hearing "Baba O'Riley" on "Dawson's Creek" and at the time, I thought that would be impossible (although I am still stewing about that one).

Saying things like "one of my ex-husbands" brings to mind fifty something year old women with blonde up-do's with Gucci purses and diamond earrings the size of Honda Civics. Perfumed, primped, pink suited and lipsticked. I don't know why, but the thought of even acting like one of those women just makes me want to wretch in my Tetley. So the fact that I even thought it has put a bad start to the week, even though it happened on a Saturday and I may not be the same, ever.

I think it's time to go shave my head, throw out my one dress and buy a pair of combat boots.

Goodbye my sweet smelling Danier world. It's been nice knowing you....

The Lost Art (of Customer Service)

It's a complaint I hear from just about everyone. It's a rare thing now a days to hear accolades from someone who has received exceptional service from an 800 number or from a service person in-store. My boyfriend was recently very impressed with the service he received when calling the Kobo e-reader Technical Support number. Not only did a live human answer the phone, she did so within two rings! Wow, it's a sad state of affairs when you are excited when treated with respect.

Recently, I experienced the norm. An in-store experience left me shaking my head in wonder, yet again. I do not know why these things surprise me. It happens all the time, so I must have expectations of grandeur. Of maybe finding someone that actually knows what they're doing and takes pride in their job.

The SIM card in my iPhone stopped working suddenly, in the middle of a call, of course. I don't know much about SIM cards or their importance in the cellular world, but I quickly deduced that your mobile phone is of little value when they stop functioning. I did what I thought was the wise thing to do. I called Bell Mobility, my provider.

"My iPhone says "No SIM'. I assume it's there because I was actually talking to someone on the phone." She tells me there are a few things we can try so we attempt some things to see if it's just a funny little glitch - her words. After ten minutes, it becomes painfully apparent the SIM card is dead and she tells me sadly that I will have to take the phone to a Bell corporate store. She was quite pleasant actually, seemed quite apologetic at the inconvenience of me having to drive to have my six month old phone looked at. I asked her if SIM cards were covered under warranty. She said it depended when the card was activated. I pointed out that I probably wouldn't have activated a SIM card without activating the iPhone (is it just me?) but she was unable to verify if SIM cards were covered or not.

The next day at lunch, I drive to the mall, enter the Bell store with a premonition of disaster. I figured these SIM cards cost about $200 and I was going to have to write a letter to the CEO of Bell.

I approach a youngish guy.

"Can I help ya?" He sounded really disinterested. LIke he'd rather be clipping his toenails. I explain the issue. I told him I called Bell tech support, tried a bunch of things, they told me to bring it to them.

"Didja turnitoff?"

"Sorry?" I ask. I don't understand "jumblelanguage". I tried to learn it when my kids were teenagers but I couldn't quite grasp it enough to carry on a conversation.

"DID-YOU-TURN-IT-OFF?" he repeats, as if I am deaf.

"YES-ABOUT-TEN-TIMES. THEY-SAID-THE-SIM-CARD-IS-NO-GOOD'", I tell him, in case HE is indeed deaf.

So he takes the phone, goes behind the desk and looks in a pen holder for a little doo hickey to remove the SIM card. He can't find one. Complains to his co-worker. Looks around a bit more. She hands him something. Rolls her eyes. I stand there thinking "Wow. The professionalism".

I remember as a teenager, getting my first job as a cashier at a Beckers store in my neighbourhood. My mother was a head cashier for years at a Dominion Store. The first things she told me? Always be polite. And never ever walk around looking like you're an idiot. This guys mother never was a head cashier at Dominion. Obviously.

Eventually he was able to remove the SIM card from the phone. He looks at it. Blows on it. Puts it back in the phone. Turns the phone on. Looks at the phone.

"Yer SIM cardsnogood."

"I know. That's why I am here."

"It's five bucks for a SIM card."

"Okay", I say. He stares at me. "Just out of curiosity, is it not covered under warranty? The phone is six months old."

"SIM cards aren't covered under warranty", he responds, without offering any explanation as to why this is so.

"Okay then." I reach into my purse for my wallet and pull out a twenty dollar bill. I place the money on the counter in front of him. He types something into a computer, the screen I can not see. I assume he is accessing my personal information, like my address, date of birth, date of my last menstrual cycle. This takes a few minutes. I patiently wait. (This is a HUGE deal for me but this rude young man holds the key to getting my phone working again).

"Soooooo, didja want the SIM card or not?" I look at him to make sure he's really a living breathing human being. I wanted to say "You've got to be kidding? What the hell am I going to do with an iPhone without a SIM card? Use it for an iPod? A camera? Are you stupid? Not enough oxygen?" But being a generally polite person, all I said was:

"I guess if I want to have a phone I have no choice, do I?" Duh.

Honestly.......

Irks and Quirks - Why Do You Do Those Things You Do

It's time for another rant blog. I don't know why. Perhaps it's my mood. Perhaps it's that next week I will be another year older. Or maybe it's that I don't understand a lot of what other people do. Common sense appears to be lacking in a lot of people in this day and age. A lot of what other people do doesn't make sense to me. Sometimes people say one thing, but do another. They lie. They spout a lot of bull shit. They make up stuff in the hopes that you will cow tow to whatever it is they're looking for.

But I am not a patient woman and I have no tolerance for a lot of bullshit. This is a problem, not only for me, but for anyone who is forced to deal with me on a regular basis. Some would consider this a personality flaw to be sure. I sometimes wish I could just be happy with whatever crap people throw my way, but I can’t. I am opinionated, a loudmouth and I really don’t give a shit what other people think of me. And frankly, I am too old to feel the need to deal with this crap.

I do have some basic rules that I have tried to live by and that I expect others to also live by, especially if they are a part of my life. It's not that I am being judgmental, it's just that being nice to each other is a lost art that I hope will come back one day.

The Insistors: Someone asks you if you want to do something. You explain that you either can't or don't want to. Doesn't really matter whether or not you can't or don't want to, you've said no. But they insist. They come up with a dozen different scenarios that would allow you to do whatever it is you can't or don't want to do. You get annoyed because you've probably explained at length why you either can't or don't want to. But they go on about it. To me this says that this person either a: doesn't trust that you know your self enough to know that you don't want something or b: that you're lying. Which to me is insulting.

Lack of empathy – I sometimes complain about the state of my life due to a soon-to-be ex-husband that doesn’t feel that he needs to come through with support. I often hear things like “Well, you’ve got it a lot better than other people” and “What do YOU have to complain about? You have a nice house, a nice car” etc etc. And my favourite “You’re stressed? Why are YOU stressed?” Well, the thing is that EVERYONE has their problems. And while you may feel yours are the worst in the world, the person next to you may have a hard time dealing with whatever (you think is minor) issue they’re dealing with at the time. Sure, I don’t have it as bad as some other people. I admit that. But the fact remains it is stressful not having enough money to pay bills or buy groceries. Sure, one of my kids isn’t dying from cancer or in a coma. I know that. But belittling other people’s battles, however small isn’t called for either. Maybe I am bi-polar and this latest stress is going to send me into a deep depression that I may never get out of? Okay, I am not, but you never know who is.

Parents that don’t take the time to teach their children manners. Or how to behave in public or someone else’s house. Lots of these around, wouldn’t you say? Nothing better than paying to have a nice dinner out and listening to the theatrics of a 6 year old throughout the whole thing. Listen parents – your children should be your priority. I don’t care how important you think you are, in your job or wherever it is you go, your children should be number one. Take the time to teach them how to behave. Bratty kids like yours will get beat up and picked on because they’re so damn unbearable!! And please don't take the easy way out. Don't tell your misbehaving brat "One more time, I am getting up to smack your butt!" only to remain on your ass the next time they do whatever it is that's driving you nuts. Follow through. Nothing says "Sucker" to your kids more than not doing what you say you will.

Nosey people….yes, you know who you are. Those are the people that feel they should be privy to every intimate detail of your life and act hurt when they hear something that you didn’t share with them. They feel that you should have told them. I don’t get it. I have a hard enough time keeping track of my own life, I really don’t feel the need to worry about telling other people that I got my hair done, bought steak for dinner or am planning a shopping trip. Really. Who cares?? If something is going on and I feel it’s important to tell whoever, I will. But other than that, mind your own business. (I am not talking about you D).

Conversation hijackers – You’re standing outside at work one sunny afternoon and the office know-it-all comes out and over hears your conversation. Suddenly, he jumps in, gives his two cents worth, winds up changing the subject and you’re standing there thinking “Wha’ happened?”

People that are never wrong and even when you prove they’re wrong, they don’t apologize. I enjoy a good argument. What I don't enjoy is trying to get my point across and having the other person refuse to listen. It annoys the hell out of me. Even after telling the person "I understand your point but please be reasonable and listen to mine", they often refuse to keep their trap shut. It's inconsiderate and disrespectful. What's worse is when someone tells you you're wrong, every which way from here to Sunday and even after proving that THEY are wrong, they continue to say things like "I was quite sure I was right". Well, buddy, you weren't. Just say, "Gee, I am sorry" instead of whining about how misinformed you were.

Nervy people – I have a brother who lives with my parents. He has a three year old daughter and during his visits with her, she goes and stays at my Mom’s. The problem is my mother smokes and my brother doesn’t want his daughter exposed to it. Fair enough….but it’s not his house. I have tried to encourage him gently to move out, but he doesn’t budge. After all, if he had to pay rent, he wouldn’t be able to afford to golf twice a week, go on trips and have dinner and drinks in a restaurant on a regular basis. So regularly, he calls and asks to stay at my house. Or at my sisters. I wouldn’t mind so much except that you only see or hear from him when he has his daughter. A few months ago, I was in the hospital for three days. He calls me, while in the hospital, to let me know he’d like to come visit with his daughter that upcoming weekend. I said “I am kind of in the hospital right now”. He said “Well, you’ll be out by the weekend and it’s your turn anyway”. Hold on….my TURN? I do you a favour every month or so, feed you and your child and it’s MY TURN? My turn for what? To be taken advantage of?? Hello??? McFly????

People that can't take what they give. I am sure everyone knows these people. These are the ones that feel it's their business, without being asked, to give you their opinion on just about anything. Nothing is sacred. How to live your life. How to cook. How to manage your money. How you shouldn't have bought something. How you should do your hair. Whatever it is, they have the answer. They expend great energy going on at length. Eventually, you begin to tune them out, they are droning on so much. They have all the answers and if you're too stupid to listen, well, they'll just keep going on about it. Then the day may come when you may have an opinion to offer. You offer it nicely, perhaps saying "I think maybe the way to approach it is....." and almost immediately you are informed you know nothing about it and are basically told you should mind your own business, you don't understand and what the hell would you know about it anyway? Huh? You are somewhat shocked (but not really because know it alls know it all, don't they?) and why would they require the opinon of someone like you anyway? No matter how reasonable or common sense your approach may be, it won't make sense to the know it all. So my advice is to say nothing. Don't offer your opinions because you're wasting your breath. And in the future when said know it all offers theirs, politely let them know you can handle your own affairs.

Me thinks they assume too much. I try in my dealings to not assume things. I assume the sun will come up tomorrow. I assume I will not win the lottery. I assume I will despise being at work. But I will not assume an OLG representative will decide to give me $2 million just because I have been buying tickets for twenty years. I will assume my parents will not surprise me with a visit on my birthday. I will assume my ex will not have a change of heart and decide to settle with me before our court date. Assuming does nothing but cause disappointment. Expectations can be a very bad thing. History has taught me that much. So sometimes when people assume things with me, I feel bad, although I shouldn't. All I can say is assume nothing, then when you DO get something, you will be happy that you got an unexpected surprise.

Manipulators are a special breed. There are people that will do things just because they don't like something. Or won't do things because they don't like something. For instance, have you ever had someone say they will do something, but will change their mind when something totally unrelated doesn't go their way? I had a friend who offered (note that - offered) to do something for me, quite minor actually. I needed something picked up at a store that was convenient to their work. Little did I know that it was contingent on ME doing a favour for them, something I was unable to do. Not only did they not pick up the item, they didn't talk to me for over a week. That is a mild form of manipulation. Favours for friends or loved ones shouldn't be offered because you want something from them. Nor should they be taken back because you aren't going to get something in return. Not nice and really not appreciated. In this same vein, doing a favour for someone and reminding them of it constantly.... Also, not nice.

The Users....I have friends, or had friends that used to visit me regularly. Probably four or five times a year. They would stay the weekend, often longer. A couple of years ago, their son moved to within forty minutes of me. Guess what? I haven't seen them since. Seriously. I figured a lot of it had to do with me breaking up with my husband, who they were also friends with, whose side they took when we split, but that didn't stop them from visiting for two years before their son moved. I guess they didn't mind remaining friends with me then. But now, why bother? They don't need to. When they need cheap easy access to Toronto, they can stay at their sons.

Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.... finally, one of the worst types in my opinion. It's unfortunate for me but I am an emotional sponge. Stick me in a room with fifteen happy, smiling, laughing people and a more pleasant Sue you will never see. Put me in a room, alone, with one grump? Call me psycho and call in the padded wagon. Even worse for me are the Mr. Hyde types. One minute pleasant, enjoying themselves, the next, like a dark cloud filling up a blue sky. I can't handle it. Perhaps it was growing up with a bi-polar mother (back in the day it was manic-depression, they had to "pretty up" a horrible disease) I am not sure but to me, it feels like someone is standing above me pouring cool water over my head. It effects everything - my body, my emotions. My mother was the queen of Mr Hyde. One minute she would be smiling and laughing, the next, she'd be holding the Christmas tree over her head, wondering which of her loved ones deserved to be beaned with it more. Not nice. I know, she was ill but it was hard to deal with. Hard to deal with now as an adult never mind as a child. Hard to deal with knowing the person can't help it but inconceivable when the person does not have bi-polar disorder.

And no, I am not perfect. But I don't think I am a worthless shit either. But, to me I say "Happy Almost Birthday Sue" and "Congratulations - you haven't strangled anyone - yet".

Cheers

Soundtrack of Our Lives (or Life According to Sue to Music, of course)

I would like to say that for once, I am going to be serious. I spend so much of my time being cynical and judgemental of the things that I think are stupid in this world. So, mixed in with the seriousness of the subject matter (how I think people can be happier in this world) is the number one love of my existence, music - to the tune of some of my favourite songs. (Ok, number one thing,not person or persons). Music is very important to me, as anyone that knows me will agree but so is being happy. You get one life. Make the most of it. And don't worry, be happy.....(I couldn't resist).


“I hate everything about you, why do I love you”. ~ I Hate Everything About You – Three Days Grace

Typical love-hate relationship. Anyone been in one of those?? Hard to know what to do in this situation, isn't it. Remember, you must really LIKE the people in your life. Love is often not enough.

“History please let me go, let me be, leave me alone”. ~ There’s a Light – Jay Malinowski

It saddens me that so much of our self is rooted in our past. No matter how wonderful or how sad our past was, we tend to live there, thus ignoring our present. We dwell on past hurts, broken hearts, the cruel and the nasty. Or we wish again for a time that we were happier, richer or whatever it is we feel we are missing out on. I love this line because it’s so true and basic.

“Time is contagious, everybody’s getting old”. ~ Coconut Skins – Damien Rice

Getting old doesn’t have to be a bad thing but for so many of us, it is. Some of us try to put a halt to it by subjecting ourselves to plastic surgery. Some, like me, like to dye the gray out of our hair. I rue the day when I will be too old to wear my hair long and will be forced to wear an old lady style (curly frizzy short hair). I don’t want to get old but it’s happening. The trick I guess is to do it gracefully. There’s nothing wrong with aging. It’s normal, natural and it does happen to everyone (unless you’re one of the “Only the Good Die Young” ilk ~ Billy Joel circa 1977). Sadly, I remember that song when it was first played on the radio….. On a positive note, the older you get, the smarter you get. (I am not saying that I am smart. I know I am an immature idiot). But, at least now I have some sense. Until I reached the age of 35, I don't think I had any.

“While we’re on the subject, can we change the subject now?” ~ Missed the Boat – Modest Mouse

It’s hard to hear things we don’t want to hear or discuss things we’d rather not. I am probably the best at avoidance so this song is very close to my heart….I know I am flawed. At least I can admit it.

“One love, we get to share it, leaves you baby if you don’t care for it”. One – U2

Yep, it’s the old “you never know what you have til it’s gone” and I am sure most people have been guilty of this at some point in their adult lives. All I can say is appreciate what you have. Love and relationships don’t have to be hard but we tend to make them that way. I think if people listened more and talked less, things would be a lot easier.

“Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be…” ~ All You Need is Love – The Beatles (and)
“I’m always where I need to be”. ~ Always Where I Need to Be – The Kooks

There have been times in my life when I felt that a particular period of my existence had been a total waste of time. But I know now that it’s not true. True, "All You Need Is Love" is just an old pop-rock song by a bunch of Englishmen that were probably drunk from a few too many pints and/or smoked a bit of the wacky stuff before they wrote this song. But it makes sense. We are the architects of our own lives, for the most part. And if I spent four miserable years in a situation I didn’t like, well, maybe that’s what I needed to do to figure out what it was I didn’t want out of life. Or maybe I myself have had a few too many pints and have no clue what I am talking about…..

“Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones, And I will try to fix you “ ~ Fix You - Coldplay

Yeah, right…..You can’t change people. You can’t fix them either. Only the person needing changing or fixing can do that for themselves. I like the song, but it's not very reasonable. True, Chris Martin wrote it for his wife Gwyneth Paltrow when her father passed away, so it was probably written out of love for her. It probably killed him to see her so sad. But, just like everyone else, we need to grieve. Or we need to be angry. Or be sad. Whatever the issue, the person needs to go through it and move on. They’ll fix themselves, thank you. Good song though…..and I know, it's just a SONG! Jeeze....


"I just want to be there, When we're caught in the rain, I just want to see you laugh not cry
I just want to feel you, When the night puts on its cloak
I'm lost for words don't tell me, All I can say
I love you 'till the end" ~ Love You Till The End - The Pogues

The freaky Irish band seemed to get it so right with this song. What woman (or man for that matter) wouldn't love to hear those words spoken by the love of their life? My heart melts whenever I hear this song. I don't think of myself as a romantic but this song does it for me.

"I thought you were my friend". ~ Jesus Stole My Girlfriend - Violent Soho

I just think the line is funny given the song title.

"With friends like you, who needs enemies
You ain’t right, you ain’t ever gonna be
Your soul is toxic, you ain’t no friend of mine" ~ Far Behind - Social Distortion

I think we have all had a "friend" whose idea of friendship was much different from our own. It leaves you thinking that you're a horrible judge of character and unfortunately, can prevent you from trusting anyone in the future. There have been a few of those in my life, from the time I was a child to fairly recently. It's helpful for me to remember that not everyone is a lying sack of shit. Some people really value your friendship and want you in their lives. The trick is to weed out the lying sacks of shit before you're too emotionally involved. It's often hard to do that, however (especially if you're like me - I always tended to believe that people were inherently good). Talk about a flaw! Not anymore. I trust only the people that have been in my life for years and who demonstate that they're not in it to get something from me. I have good friends now.

"So give me something to believe, Cause I am living just to breathe
And I need something more, To keep on breathing for
So give me something to believe" ~ Believe - The Bravery

Not quite sure how to take this song. At first, I thought it was talking about having something in your life that was important to you. Or maybe it means having faith in whatever entity you believe in. Not sure, but I like the song because there were times in my life that I often wondered what the point was. Either way, it's important to feel that you have a purpose. Whether it's taking care of your children or saving the world from bad music, if it's important to you, then it's worth it.

"And to be yourself is all that you can do" ~ Be Yourself - Audioslave

How important is this one? Being yourself and true to yourself is probably the ONLY thing that will ensure you're happy in life. How hard would it be to go through life, even one day of pretending you're something you're not? Or trying to force yourself to be happy in a situation where you're miserable? There are phony people everywhere. There are people that pretend their lives are the absolute best and wouldn't you love to be just like them? No, I wouldn't. Shakespeare's character Polonius told his son "This above all: to thine own self be true". Probably the most important quote ever....

"Get on, come on, why you scared, you’ll never change what’s been and gone
Cos all of the stars are fading away, Just try not to worry you'll see them someday
Take what you need and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out" ~ Stop Crying Your Heart Out - Oasis

Is there anyone out there who hasn't had their heart broken so badly, you thought you'd die from the anguish of it? Or anyone lost someone to death and felt that it was too painful to go on? This song talks about the aftermath. How we try to carry on but we can't because the pain is just too much to bear. Good advice though - you CAN'T change what's been and gone and no amount of wishing that you did things differently is going to change it. Time to wipe those weepy eyes, get in the shower and carry on. Life's too short for regrets.

"I'd rather die for love than die for the want of it" ~ With a Bullet - Sam Roberts

Alfred Lord Tennyson said 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all'. Everyone needs to love and to be loved. I know that there are people that give up on it for fear they will be hurt. Or fear that it won't work out. You never know til you try. And you won't spend your life wondering "What if?"

"So many times I'd planned, to be much more than who I am" ~ Shine On - Jet

I am not sure how common a problem this is. I myself sometimes suffer from thoughts like this. When I was a teenager and even into my early adulthood, I had so many plans, dreams, ideas. In the normal course of life, however, things happen. Plans get put on hold, ideas seem too far-fetched and there is never enough time or money. I am now in my mid-forties and I have done none of the things that I had so desperately wanted to do. I wanted to travel Europe. I wanted to move from Ontario and live in Vancouver, or the Keys or England. I wanted a fulfilling job. None of that has happened and I know now that it probably never will. But, I try to stay happy and positive. Because, as John Lennon said "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans". And I am not too old to keep hoping that one day, I will board that plane for Heathrow and have a dream come true.

I know....easier said that done...And by no means am I saying that I live my life perfectly. But in a perfect world with perfect people, everyone would be happy.

All my People Right Here, Right Now, Do You Know What I Mean....

I like lists. I think it's part of my obsessive-compulsive disorder (which isn't as bad as it used to be). I used to be a chronic hand washer. It would cause dry skin the likes that have never been seen. Germs were a bit of a problem for me. I still wouldn't lick a door handle but I have come to understand that not everything is going to kill me.

What might kill me however, or at the very least drive me nuts, is the constant pondering of the things that make me shake my head. Sure, wars bother me. Needless animal cruelty and death bring tears to my eyes. (In a world full of hate and pain, I think animals should be the true inspiration to people). You'll never see animals needlessly kill their young or another animal. They kill for a reason - their survival. But the beauty and understanding shown by animals amazes me and even if it's just for a while, it makes me appreciate what is beautiful in this world. My dogs, for instance, will never hurt my feelings. They will never say anything cruel to me or each other. They will never move out and not call for months. They will never not show up for a dinner date. They love me and that love is unconditional.

But there are still imponderables and those really make me stop and think....

1. General Motors, God love them, (because I don’t think anyone else does), needs a reality check. I saw a car yesterday on the road, bearing that known-the-world over Chevrolet insignia. You know the one. It was on a car that I don't think I have seen before (and hope I never do again). It was sort of a pick-up truck front but was a convertible. I don’t know what to call it. It was ugly. It was frankly, one of the stupidest vehicles I have ever seen. But I thought "That explains everything. The Board of Directors at GM actually approved that thing for production. No wonder the company's in a hole". Way to pay back that government bail out. Losers. Given a choice between that and a Smart car, I would have to take the Smart car (which is saying a lot as I deplore Smart Cars).

2. To a subject close to my very opinionated heart, music. I don't like a lot of different music. I have tried listening to country, dance and opera. Country is boring and that twangy accent drives me nuts. I don't like dance music because frankly, unless you're in a club in downtown Toronto wearing your $200 jeans and you're under 25, what's the point? It unimaginative and boring. I can't stand the drum machine THUMP THUMP (for God sakes, try a human drummer). Opera is just annoying. I don't mind classical music if I am in the mood. I love acoustic guitar so I could pretty much listen to that 24/7. I love Brit Pop and the new alternative rock. It's diverse, they have drummers and a lot of the time, the lyrics are interesting and well thought out. But something I can not stand and doubt I ever will is rap. What is so musical about a guy rhyming to a drum machine, talking about how he popped a cap in someone's ass and blew some smack? I mean hey, to each his own, but that's not music. That's just spoken word to a boring drum beat. I really really don't get it.

3. People that continually shoot off their mouth without thinking…..elected members of government at all levels, government employees, men, women, you name it, they're everywhere. I can only suggest that people take the time to think out what they want to say and try to imagine how other people might take it. Seriously.

4. Pit bull type dogs - I can understand that each breed has it's fanciers. I get that. I don't get the little mops of hair that people call dogs either. But I understand that the toy and mini-poodles, the Maltese, the Havanese, they have their place. Older people may find walking a hyper Retriever a bit of a challenge, not to mention a threat to their bone health. But the pit bull's place in history are as fighting dogs. It's bred in them. I read a stat in the Toronto Sun recently that stated "one study found pit bulls and part-pit-bulls accounted for 1,618 of 2,815 serious attacks on humans in North America since 1982". I actually found the study online. That being said, I wouldn't trust one around my children, or my friends children. Personally, I am afraid of them.

5. I don't get the whole fundamentalist religious fanatics. What ever happened to live and let live? Does it matter that Christians believe in Jesus, Muslims believe in Muhammad, Hindus Karma? Really, does it? Personally, I could care less what religion someone is. Instead I look at other things: unbelievably, how nice someone is. How truthful. How caring they are of their fellow humans. This and this alone is a testament to someone's goodness, not how they worship, what building they do it in or what God they pray to.

6. Back to music for a minute. One of my big un-important imponderables is Oasis. They are one of my favourite bands. I love Noel's guitar playing and his songs make the whole world sing. They are undeniably the wonder of Manchester to many a music fan. They are filthy rich, have millions of fans and have sold out football stadiums through out Europe. But, given an opportunity to one day speak with Noel and Liam, the first question I would ask is "Why are you two the biggest assholes in the music world?" They give Billy Corgan a run for his money. The problem is, there are two Gallagher brothers and a more miserable musical pair I dare you to find. It confounds me why these two people, who have the world at their disposal, are working at something they supposedly love to do can be so bloody unhappy and nasty. They make nasty comments about EVERYONE including each other. They seem to not give a damn about their fans, the very people that made them filthy rich. Their concerts are notoriously short (I personally attended one that was about forty minutes long all for the bargain price of close to $60 a ticket. Not to mention, the concert had been postponed three months earlier). They start bar room brawls. They get drunk on airplanes. They act like they hate each other and it's no surprise they broke up. Which for their fans, is too bad. (I love them so much, I titled this entry after one of their songs....) It would be nice if they weren't such jerks....

7. There are people that read the new websites and feel that they must, no matter what, comment on whatever news story they read. Which is perfectly fine…..if they have something of value to add. Most don't, however. Last week, I read a story about the new Apple iPad. I read the article because I am interested in the product and if I had $600 I didn't need to pay bills or buy groceries with, I would definitely buy one. As it stands, I will have to make due with my laptop. But, I am interested in Apple products so the article was worth reading. I decided to read the comments section, which I usually don't because I really don't care what other people think. One of the first comments, by a man, was how he was tired of Steve Jobs dictating what programs his computers could use, how Macs are overpriced, how his Netbook does everything better except for battery life and how he would NEVER buy an iPad. How is this valuable information? Really? Think about it. Any Mac users I know wouldn't waste their money buying another PC. How does he know his Netbook is 'better' if he's never used an iPad and lastly, do we care that Joe Blow Nobody would never buy an iPad? I don't. My question is, however, why did he read the article if he hated everything Apple? If I am skimming through a newspaper and there's a big article about GM, or Harley or Miley Cyrus, do you think I am going to read it? No, because I DON'T CARE about those things. I have no interest in GM because I don't like their cars or their business practises. I don't like Harleys and would never consider buying one. And we all know what I think of Mily Cyrus. So why would this guy waste the time reading an article about an item he didn't want, by a company he hates? Then to take the time to comment on it? I don't get it.

8. Finally, I must comment on people. We all know how intolerant I can be of the bull-crap which life entails. My friend Victoria and I laugh at our assertion that neither of us will ever amount to anything more important in our jobs because we just can't be bothered playing the game. She says it's that we aren't ambitious. I agree to a point. For me and probably for her, it's the phoniness required to play the game that we can't stand. We watch, on a daily basis, the worker bees walking around the office, hanging on their bosses every word, saying "Yes, sir" and "Yes, boss" and "Whatever you say" as if the person they are cow towing too has the power to turn off the sun with a snap of their fingers.

So yes, she's right. I am not ambitious. I go to work, try to do the job that I am permitted to do, then I come home and enjoy the rest of my day. That's the way it is for me. I don't live for my job. I never will. At least, I won't unless I get a job that is fulfilling and has some meaning for me. What that is, I have no idea right now. But I think I better figure that out soon.

And I know, these aren't the most important things in the world. (Other than the "live and let live" philosophy people should take when it comes to religion) but it's fun to rant. Really….it is……Right D? Do you know what I mean?

Pet Peeve #2 - Bad Drivers

It's not that I condone road rage. I don't. But I understand why it happens. Just this morning, my blood pressure rose twice before I was three kilometres from home.

Just so you know, they have these businesses that will actually teach you how to drive. They are called (believe it or not) DRIVING SCHOOLS. The teachers at these places will actually teach you how to do the following properly.

Signalling – Those arms attached to the steering column are not just for decoration. They are actually used to indicate your intentions. Ie. turning. Speaking of turning, when turning right at an intersection, is it really necessary to enter the lane to your left? Are you driving an 18 wheeler?

Proper Lane placement – Those lines painted on the road? Also not for decoration. If they were, I am sure the people responsible would use prettier colours, like red or green. I think the trick is actually staying within the lines, unless you’re changing lanes. If so, do it in a timely fashion. Driving down the middle of those painted lines isn’t the best way to endear yourself to your fellow drivers.

Driving the Posted Speed Limits – My advice would be that if you’re terrified to drive at least the speed limit on any given road, please avoid driving on said road. If you want to practise driving on a road that you’re not comfortable on, do it at times other than the morning or evening rush. Perhaps Sunday morning around 2 am would be a good time.

Not following other cars too closely - Nothing annoys me more than having another car riding within two inches of my bumper - Especially when there is a stream of traffic ahead of me. Just in case those bad drivers don’t realize, the car ahead of you can only go as fast as the car ahead of them and so on. No point in the driver ahead driving ten kilometres faster if the car ahead of them isn’t. Understand??

Backing up in parking lots - It’s customary (not to mention safer) to check behind and to the side prior to backing out of a parking spot. The things to look for would be people and other vehicles. It’s unfortunate, but you don’t have the right of way.

Maintaining speed - Sure, it’s not absolutely necessary to maintain a steady speed exactly. But it sure would be nice if you could stay within, oh lets say, five kilometres per hour. Following someone whose speed jumps from 60 to 80 km/h in a one kilometre stretch is at best, annoying. Especially when there’s nothing in front of them. Obviously, traffic ahead of you or an animal suddenly running into the road does not count.

Incessant passing in traffic – Picture this: you’re driving down a major roadway at seven in the morning on your way to work. There are cars as far as the eye can see. Traffic is moving slowly and it’s hard to even get up the posted speed limit. All of a sudden, a car goes screaming past you (on the wrong side of the road) and cuts in front. He can’t go any farther as there is a car coming the other way so he has to get back in the proper lane immediately. Once the way is clear, out he goes again. He may get two cars ahead this time, but maybe not. All the way to work, this clown passes. At the next intersection, you see the same car stopped at the lights. Gee, you may even be right behind him. What’s the point? And secondly, where do you have to be in such a hurry? I don't know about anyone else, but I would feel mighty stupid killing myself just so I could get to work faster....In this category, I can also list the the guy that passes you, gets in front, then slows down to a death march. Love those guys too.

Unnecessary Braking: How not to do it: 101: I also find extremely annoying following someone who brakes incessantly for no apparent reason. Picture this: You are driving and you come upon a car going just the speed limit. Fair enough. But you soon discover the reason they are driving just the speed limit is that they use their brake every 15 seconds. It's so regular, you could time chest compressions by their brake lights when giving CPR. Why are you braking? Do you see dead people? Are there ghosts standing in the middle of the lane that I can't see?? (Another reason to avoid unnecessary braking? Imagine paying for a brake job every 20,000 kilometres).

How to interpret those funny little advance green signals at traffic lights: When you are stopped at an intersection with traffic lights and the lights turn green, that means go. If you're turning left, obviously you must wait for the through traffic to go. Or pedestrians. When that green light flashes however, or the signal has a green arrow, that means you can go. It doesn't mean staying put and weighing the options. The options are go. If someone has run a red, well, then don't go. But if the way is clear and it's safe to do so, move your ass.


And finally, for the love of all that's holy, it's not called the FAST LANE. The FAST LANE is the cutesy name Ford dealerships have given to their quick lube drive throughs. The lane on the left is called the PASSING LANE. It is supposed to be used to PASS other vehicles. Perhaps the car in front of you is one of those incessant brakers? Or one of those people that are clutching their steering wheel as if the Devil himself is about to pluck them from the car? Whatever the reason you feel you need to pass, on roads equipped with such things, the PASSING LANE affords a safe (well, sometimes, depending on who's on the road) way to pass that slow moving vehicle. It's not used to practise F1 turning manoeuvers. Alternatively, it's also not used to pace snails or turtles. If you aren't going to pass, get out of the passing lane.

I am really starting to dread driving......

Pet Peeve #1 - Work 1.1 - Meetings

We all know how I feel about work. Perhaps if I had a fulfilling job, it would be different. But I don't. I view my job as a necessary inconvenience. Like going for a physical. Or having a root canal.

Due to a change in jobs and unreasonable morons that I have to deal with on a daily basis, I was put on a "special project" - a software implementation. In my opinion, I was only put on this project because I wasn't permitted to do my new job properly, therefore, I complained, mostly of boredom and dealing with the unreasonable's previously mentioned. This was an (unsuccessful) attempt to shut me up.

Being put on this project entailed the worst of all possible things: "attending meetings". I didn't have to attend meetings in my previous job. I liked it that way. I have no patience for meetings for a variety of reasons.

1. No one sticks to an agenda.
2. Waste of time rehashing the same old crap that could be solved with someone actually making a sound decision.
3. They say they want the employees input, but when it comes down to it, they don't give a flying fig what our opinions are, they'll do whatever they want anyway, no matter how stupid, how much money it wastes or how the end result will mean nothing was accomplished
4. People don't listen. They cover an item, but thirty minutes later, someone by God will feel compelled to go back to it and pipe "Is it just me, but I am lost. I didn't understand that last part".
5. Boring. By 2 pm on a work day (and sometimes on weekends too) I am struggling to keep my eyes open. Sit me in a crowded hot meeting room in an uncomfortable chair after feeding me pizza with four pounds of cheese on it (per slice) and I am ready for a coma.

So this morning, I awoke with a sense of dread. I had to "attend a meeting" today, an all day free for all with various people, most of whom I could do happily without on a daily basis.

As I am leaving, I say goodbye to my other half. He tells me to have a good day (to which my interior voice answered "Not bloody likely!") but I replied "I doubt it, I have a meeting". He looked sympathetic. I suggested to him then that the worst part of meetings was that there were other people there. I also told him that I would like to have a meeting with just me, but I wondered what we would discuss.

"Oh, that's easy", he replies. "Music, books...."

"Wine, beer!" I interrupt, almost giddy with the prospect of it.

So, we paused to imagine the scene - a meeting with Sue and NO ONE ELSE.

Me: I call this meeting to order. We have an agenda. We are going to discuss what to drink. Coors Light or Dos Equis.

Me: Well that would depend on whether there is lime available.....

Me: Let's recess this for a minute whilst I check the kitchen for lime.

Short recess.....

Me: Okay, there IS lime, so the question remains - Coors Light or Dos Equis.

Me: Well, personally, I don't mind starting off with a few Dos Equis then switching to Coors Light. Sometimes the lime starts to bother my mouth after a while.

Me: Very good, that's certainly an option.

Me: What shall we listen to while drinking the beer.

Me: Easy. Put the iPod on shuffle.

Me: Great. I think we're finished here. Good decision making, people. Meeting's adjourned.

And there you go. A meeting that takes less than four minutes, decisions were made, the agenda was followed and I am a happy camper.

Why can't all meetings be that easy??

Who is Justin Bieber (or enter other talentless hack here) and why should I care? Pet Peeve #3

It never fails to amaze me how many talentless (I don't want to call them performers because they're not, but then again, they must at the very least be actors to pretend they're good at what they do) people there are in the music world today. Half of them I have never heard of. But there's a few that I think the music industry could do without.....

1. I first heard about Justin Bieber on my favourite morning radio show. They were making fun of him. I figured that it was probably warranted. I asked my 21 year old son if he had ever heard about this kid and he told me about an interview he did on a recent tour in New Zealand when the word "German" confused the kid. Apparently, he didn't know what that word meant and quipped that "we don't use that word in America". What about Canada? Do we use that word here? I mean, there are German-Canadians, no? I remember learning about Hitler's Germany in school. Do they not cover World War II anymore? I mean, German? Perhaps Bieber is German for "bad haircut". On the Oprah show recently, he told her that he has "no clue" why girls scream when he's on stage. Me neither Justin. Me neither.


2. Lady Gaga? What the hell is a Lady Gaga? I am guessing she took her name from the Queen song "Radio Gaga" but I could be wrong. I don't know what to say. Really I don't. I read that she was a hermaphrodite. So does one deduce that she's more woman than man? I don’t know. She scares me. I mean, Marilyn Manson is a scary looking dude. But he doesn't sing songs like "Poker Face". To me, just one of thousands of manufactured pop drivel that anyone could sing with Auto Tune. Yuck. Also yuck is her clothes. My God…..


3. Speaking of Auto Tune - Miley Cyrus. Ok, there should be limits. The girl simply can not carry a tune. I don’t get it. My 26 year old son could make the Pope swear and cover his ears with his lack of singing talent. If someone had come to me when he was fifteen years old and said "We're going to make your son a star!", I would have asked "What exactly are you smoking and is it possible for me to get some". I mean, come on! Just because her daddy had one crappy hit 20 years ago? Give me a break!

4. Katy Perry…..she kissed a girl. So damn what? This makes her a star? Again, this is a case of OVER-manufactured crap that I am sure the youth of today could do without.

5. Lastly, although I was going to avoid it, I feel I must as a music fan, bring up the "Idol" series. I hate it. And talking about it gives me stomach pains. So I will make this quick. I think back to bands like Green Day. Struggling for years. Great musicians all of them. A talented song writer that can intelligently put a string of words together to make verses and choruses. Plays a Gibson like no one's business. Then I look at the contestants on the "Idols". Enough said.

**As an end to this entry I would like to bring up the iTunes top five downloads for this week for Canada. Ready?

1. California Gurls (Feat. Snoop Dogg) Kathy Perry
2. Jesse's Girl (Glee Cast version) Glee Cast
3. OMG (Feat. Will I Am) Usher
4. Break My Heart (Feat. Ludicris) Taio Cruz
5. Alejandro Lady Gaga

Is it just me or is there a lot of "featuring" going on. Does two talentless hacks in a song make the song better? I don't get it.
Maybe I am just getting old.......

Pussi-what?

Pussi what?

I often ponder the deterioration of society as a whole. This brings to mind one of my favourite emails that has been going around for a few years. It talks about the kids of the sixties and seventies. Remember when…..

You did something stupid as a kid and it was your fault?

One of my brothers, when he was about 9 or 10, liked to play with matches. One day he set fire to the shower curtain. My mother was home, thank God, and he promptly got a spanking. Not knowing what to do about this child pyromaniac, she did what any mother should do when unsure about how to handle something like this.

She called the fire station.

She spoke to one of the deputy chiefs there and explained her problem. His response? Bring him by. We can show him what happens to children when they play with fire. So she did. And he never played with matches again.

A few years later, that brothers twin, at the age of fifteen, stole my mothers car. Well, not really stole it, but took it without permission. My Dad was away in England at the time and this particular child was often a handful for my mother. He was taller than her by then so spanking him wasn’t going to work. So she called the police. They showed up at my mother’s door, she let them in and while they were speaking, in walked my brother. That put enough of a scare into him that he didn’t pull that stunt again.

The point of these heart warming little anecdotes is this: In those days, when you did something wrong, no one said “Ah, it’s okay little Johnny, you’re just a kid, you didn’t mean to set fire to the house and kill your sister”. Or “Well, he’s just a young ‘un. Yeah, he shouldn’t have taken the car, but he didn’t know what he was doing.” Huh? Most mothers I knew when I was a kid taught their children a few basic rules: It's wrong to steal, it's wrong to kill and be respectful of your elders.

When I was a kid, the blame for something I did didn’t get shifted to the music I listened to, the movies I watched, the books I had read. My parents didn’t blame the teacher if I got poor marks in school. They didn’t blame my friends when I got caught shoplifting a chocolate bar. Do you see where I am going with this?

We were taught to take RESPONSIBILITY for ourselves. When something went wrong (usually something stupid we had done) we had no one to blame but ourselves.

The tendency now a days, I feel, is to focus blame to someone other than our beloved children. When those kids shot up Columbine, the parents tried to blame Marilyn Manson. It’s this sort of blame shifting that does everyone in our society a huge disservice. It teaches our youth, the people that will one day be our workforce, our leaders, our teachers and bankers, truck drivers and politicians, that it’s okay to screw up, we can blame someone else for it.

Instead, we should be teaching our children that yes, it’s okay to make mistakes, we’re human, everyone screws up once in a while, but you have to accept responsibility for our actions. Our justice system makes us take responsibility for our actions, (not always fairly, but that’s a discussion for another day).

The morning show on the radio station I listen to put it best: it's the pussification of our society. They maintain that we're bringing up a bunch of wimpy adults that put the blame on everything or everyone else. I agree. I think it's time to teach our children that they are the architect of their own lives.

Pussi-fication is preventable. Only you have the power!!

If We Tolerate This.....

I have an intolerance for intolerance. I know that sounds strange, but nothing bothers me more than judgmental people. I have no patience for racists (basically ignorant souls that can’t come up with an original thought), for those that believe themselves to be morally or ethically superior to other people or those that believe that their thoughts or opinions are superior to every one else.

(I may have been accused of that last point in the past, but no one can ever deny that I am a full believer in having one’s own opinions. As I always say, an opinion is an opinion – it’s neither right nor wrong. You can’t argue with an opinion because it’s simply unarguable. If I say I like the colour red, no one can say that I am wrong for that).

The Colour of Hate…

in my view is a by-product of ignorance. I receive emails every day from seemingly intelligent people that forward clap trap like the following:

“The Qur'an states that Muslims are told by Muhammad to kill Christians and Jews”.

After reading this work of fiction, I responded with examples from the ‘actual’ Qur'an (not the Qur'an that states that the Muslim people will exterminate the eagle state [a favourite email for a couple of years after 9/11]). I also informed the sender that before forwarding mail that could be perceived as “hate” mail by the friendly police that ensure law and order in our city, he might want to verify the so-called facts first. Nothing like spreading that down-home redneck ignorance around.

Then there are the Morality police. Take the problems Tiger Woods has had lately. He sleeps around with other women. His wife finds out, she beats him about his face with a golf club (the irony!) and he drives his Escalade off the road in an attempt to make his injuries look like a product of his collision. This makes news all over the world. Even people that aren’t golf fans speak about this like it’s the start of the third world war.

My issue with this is simple. It doesn’t matter if Tiger had one mistress or one hundred. It doesn’t matter that Tiger’s wife clubbed him. It doesn’t matter that Tiger crashed his car. You know why? It’s no one’s business other than Tiger’s and his wife’s. Who are you to judge this person? This is what bothers me about entertainment media and the no minds that follow it. What business is it of anyone’s what is going on in anyone else’s personal life? How would next-door neighbour Joe feel if he was having an affair and the local paper covered it? How would you feel if you did something you may or may not regret, only to have your private life put on display on TV, in the papers, on websites EVERYWHERE.

Despite the fact that Tiger is great at what he does and I assume is bigger than life to golf fans and to people that enjoy playing the game, Tiger is a human being. He’s not perfect. No one is. But he still deserves privacy and respect, just like everyone else. No one has the right to judge him or what he did. You don’t have to agree with it or condone it. People do the things they do for their own reasons. They don’t need to justify it to you or anyone else, other than the people that are important to them. So my advise it to mind your own business. Life is hard enough sometimes without being judge and jury to everyone else.

Lastly…..

Opinions are funny things. I have lots of opinions as I am sure most people do. I think Oasis is/was a very talented band. I believe that the Beatles were also a great band and led the way for Brit Rock in the sixties, but the Rolling Stones as a whole were much more sophisticated musically (in the early years).( I also think it’s time to hang up the guitar and drum sticks and retire gracefully but that’s just me) I think Leonard Cohen is a great songwriter but I prefer his songs sung by someone else. Ditto for Bob Dylan. I think Honda motorcycles are the cats ass (you couldn’t give me a brand new Harley Davidson, I would sell it and by a VTX1300). I think Apple products are the greatest marvels of the modern world. I think American beer is crap, along with their cars. I think pickup trucks are stupid unless you live on a farm or are a construction worker. I think Yamaha acoustic guitars sound nicer than a lot of more expensive guitars. I think Pepsi tastes better than Coke.

All these things are my opinions. I have been friends with people that hate Oasis. I have had discussions with many a classic rock fan that think the Beatles were better than the Stones and vice versa. Most people I know prefer Coke to Pepsi and most die-hard bikers aspire to a Harley one day. It doesn’t mean I am wrong, or they’re wrong. It’s just what we prefer. So why argue about it? I remember arguing once with a friend who said I was WRONG when I opined on the drumming skills of one Zak Starkey, son of Beatle Ringo Starr. My opinion was that Zak had more skill and was a much more interesting drummer than his Dad. Which was saying a lot in my view because Ringo taught his son how to drum. Listen to any Beatle song and then an Oasis song that Zak drummed on, and you’ll see what I mean. This friend of mind said “NO!” Well, hold on, it’s just my OPINION. While I am a huge music fan and a somewhat drummer and guitar player, not to mention that some people think I am a musical savant when it comes to music facts, I am not an expert. I have never professed to be. But I know what I like and I have a pretty good idea of what works in the music I enjoy. I would never give an opinion of opera or country music because I don’t listen to it. Just like this guy never listened to Zak Starkey drum, he wasn’t in a position to tell me that Ringo was a more talented performer.

So kids, remember – every one is entitled to their opinions. Whether or not you agree is neither here nor there. That’s what makes each and every one of us different and unique. It’s okay to enjoy or appreciate different things. And being tolerant of those around you just makes life easier. Not easy. Just more tolerable……